Friday the 14th
It’s such an interesting thing. I usually find that i fall asleep like this and then wake up having not moved. Could be considered some sort of condition?? Maybe I’m born with it??? it might be— and a lot of people think this— Maybelline. Maybeliene’s disorder was discovered in 1921 and though its been about 100 years there still isn’t much research on it so i’m left sort of struggling day to day and i hope it doesn’t get my kids or their kids, as research shows it is genetic. i’m the first woman in my family to suffer from it (not a huge surprise, I’m the first woman in my family to do many things) so I don’t have many to turn to about my struggles but I persist. as I always do. for i have no choice in this life.
I’ve been making this thing called cold brew coffee?? all on my own, as most things are these days. I spent a few hours a week or so ago crafting this machine that grinds up beans because i have a lot of time on my hands with this writers strike. beans go from this
to this. Like magic.
I just let it steep and wait 12 hours to French press it all down, pour it in a jar, refrigerate and repeat.
I can’t think too hard when I’m sipping my cold brew because if i do my imagination runs wild. Its a brown water and that can’t be good, if you think about it. I just sort of knock it back and wait for the effects.
and there the effects go. Got a creative urge and made eggs to fuel me for the first adventure of the day
A hike. it’s not everyday i get myself to the mountains
the view was stunning but inside i was fighting a war. Up i climbed and the higher I got the more scared i became. Just me and the elements like what? There was no shade on the hike and even though I kept reapplying sunscreen and attracting flies, every time I looked down at my bare arms they were a shade of Mr. Krabs red that I had never seen before. I kept thinking I was hearing rattlesnakes and it seemed like no one was going down the same beaten path as me and I think I was just miserable on the hike and wanted an excuse to turn around. After about 40 minutes of climbing and no end in sight, i pulled the plug. I went down the mountain with such a force I thought I might throw up and i thought to myself wow, the last time i thought I was gonna throw up from exercise was the 2015 Holiday show for my dance studio where I gave everything I had to a group performance to Unwritten where I was in the back line. and who thought I would end up here.
But that was over now. I immediately got in my car and went through my old Finsta stories. Memory Lane was much more comfortable than the beaten path of the hike. Some highlights:
Now back to my day.
Picked up a book of poetry that was on my coffee table and read this poem. Felt very moved by it and also it was the first poem in the book and I thought, welp there you go. Close the book.
Stopped taking pictures of my day for a few hours and did some personal work right there. Didn’t really move. With the strike and all I’ve had to get my ass in gear and work everyday and that’s what I did right there. and if you don’t believe me.. well that’s for you to figure out
went to go pick up some essentials for a group dinner I was having
vegans shield your eyes. What is the color of a raw steak? it’s not pink, not quite red, not purple either. it’s a really stunning color and I’m sorry to you vegans. and I’m sorry to you Kourtney Kardashian (who reads everything I write, my most treasured creative collaborator), I know this is a huge boundary breaker for us but it’s not all about you.
it’s not everyday I get to dine with three strapping men. If you had told me 3 years ago, locked in my room with a global pandemic, intercomming the maid to make me my fourth ham & cheese sandwich of the day and hitting rewind on Normal People compilation that I, AUDREY HOBERT, would be having casual steak dinner with three amazing people who just so happen to be men, I’d say hell no. Yet here we are, and there’s your inspiration from this piece.
Tender was the meat
girls let me ask you something. Do your boyfriends just straight up ignore you like literally all the time? like you’re sat there at the foot of the bed crying into a puddle of your own tears from the night before begging him to talk to you and he straight up like does NOT care??? Legs crossed, on Reddit, does NOT give a fuck about you? Don’t get me wrong I love him and cannot picture a world in which he is not in it with me but still sometimes like you just gotta cry at the foot of the bed and yourself to sleep? either way, you’re grateful for your life and the darkness is your adult pacifier. and you smile. and you smile.